So it's my last day officially, and it's almost over. It's weird, when I first arrived in Pecs everyday went by so slowly, I thought I would be here forever... and now? Well after the first week someone hit the fast forward button on my life and here we are, the last full day. I didn't think I'd be this emotional. Usually I pride myself with my inability to produce tears when the moment calls for it. But tonight? My last night in Pecs... I think all bets are off. So if you happen to find yourself in a bar in Pecs tonight, I'll be the blubbering mess in the corner.
But how do you say goodbye to people that have been your everything for the past four months? They are your friends, family, confidants, whatever. And after I leave, that's it. Most of these people will regress to just being friends on Facebook. Yes, I know I'll most likely see a few of my friends at least once more, but it's still hard to wrap my head around the inevitability of leaving them behind when they've been so much apart of who I am now.
Enough with the sappiness... maybe it's the American in me, but now I'm determined to stay optimistic. I've never been a fan of goodbyes... I prefer the term "see you later." So maybe instead of saying "goodbye" I'll just go with that.
And to my ERASMUS friends? I don't think I'll ever be able to express how thankful I am to have met each and every one of you. These past four months have been amazing, incredible, unbelievably fun, life changing, etc. What else can I say? It's as simple and as that.
So the other side of leaving... coming home. I still can't comprehend the fact that I'll be home tomorrow. In almost 24 hours (god willing the volcanic ash doesn't screw things up) I'll be back in America sleeping in my bed, eating American food, seeing my family and friends again.... I don't think I'll realize how much I've missed them until I see them again. Half of me can't stand the thought of leaving, while the other half is so excited to see everyone again.
So here I am, torn between two countries, two lives. But America wins this round. Mostly because I already bought the plane ticket and becoming an illegal immigrant in Europe doesn't sound like a viable career... Kidding! ... But seriously, I wasn't able to find a way to make a career out of being an illegal immigrant.
But saying goodbye, or rather "see you later," is just like ripping off a band-aid. It's going to hurt, but it has to done. I can't stay here forever and it's time to go back home, back to reality. But I won't mourn this loss, I'm determined to be the optimistic American again. This quote pretty much sums up my feelings; *disclaimer* I don't fully remember this quote or where it comes from, but it goes something like this: How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.
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